It was a good way to unwind, just he, his writing pad and a tumbler of Scotch over ice. It was his own personal rule that he would never write while drinking, much in the same way that he would never read when equally obliterated. Nor would he ever hope to find a muse at the bottom of the bottle. Once you opened the bottle, he knew, she was gone.
However; a ceremonial sip or two never hurt and actually freed the words from the tangled, barbed wire that was his 9-to-5 mind. He sat himself away from the physicality of the bar, almost as if to distance himself from the serious drinking, delirious thinking and the serious bullshit, all the while waiting for someone, other than the muse; to come through those very doors and make him happy for awhile.
She would come in her own good time and be the very same to rip out his heart, still beating and still breaking and display it for all their world to see, reminiscent of some demented 21st Century Mayan priestess, hell-bent on his skill, wanton in her destruction. It was an awful way to think that the person who could love you the most could hurt you the same, if not worse. It had been his experience as a young American male and the same for much of his generation, male or female and every generation preceding each, ad infinitum.
All had experienced loss at the heart, devious hand and mind of another and none were without originality or even original sin for that matter. Or psychoanalytical guilt or pathological hurt. All were damaged in one way or another. Confused loss always followed contentment of love for there was none ever so true that it would outlast eternity. In the same, Death was the chaser to the drink of Life. Those that loved the best, lied the best, he thought. All were damaged goods due to damaged gods.
In this false sense of ardor, which was as true as the light bulb flickering overhead in the bar, did he compose short stories that when read from beginning to end, did define the lifelong suicide note he had always been writing.
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Joseph Grant is a talented American short story writer, he’s published way more than 200 of his stories on web and in literary magazines. An interview with him has been also published here on Radikalnews.